There are few things more devastating than watching addiction slowly take over your spouse. Over time, the person you love is taken over by a mere image of the former person. In return, you’ve been bombarded with lies, deception, and replaced by a substance that, if left unopposed, will one day claim your loved one.
In our experience, the vast majority of the time it’s the family that is the most committed to someone’s recovery. In some situations, they are the ones who finally get their loved one into treatment and hopefully on a strong path to recovery. We won’t sugar coat the truth. Not every husband or wife will go into treatment. But those who do have a much higher percentage of being able to return to living a fulfilling and rewarding life.
Which brings up to the question: What do you look for in a recovery treatment? Recently we highlighted the challenge of finding a reputable clinic, especially given the treacherous landscape created by some of the more high profile, federal investigations circling through the media.
The good news is that there are respectable treatment programs all across the country. Here’s what you need to look for when evaluating if a center is the right fit for your spouse:
Knowing What Type of Treatment to Search For
If you’re in the beginning stages of your search, know that you have a lot to learn about the addiction recovery spaces. We know where to go if we break a bone. It’s a straight path to the emergency room. Seeking treatment for substance abuse creates a murky picture.
To give you a quick overview, there are several different phases of treatment, based around the severity of the use and how long the substance abuse has been going on.
The first step is detox. The most severe is arriving at the hospital with an overdose. From here, the hospital will medically intervene. Once the patient is stable, they will move into a medical detox. Once complete with the detox, the hospital will help the patient and their family navigate which rehab program makes the most sense for the next phase.
Individuals who are currently on a substance, but not as severe, should seek out a detox program. Contrary to popular belief, going “cold turkey” doesn’t work for several substances and can actually impede the overall recovery. We dive into why on Myth #5 in our article 6 Myths Destroying the Treatment Industry. In short, there’s a high likelihood that an individual needs to start with a medically managed withdrawal.
Once complete with detox, or if they were sober when going into a treatment program, there are different options. First you have short-term or long-term residential programs, also referred to as inpatient treatment. Here the individual is checked into a facility where they will stay at for varying lengths of time. These facilities provide intensive round-the-clock care.
The other route, again depending on the recommendation of a care provider, is outpatient treatment programs. Here the individual still lives at home, visiting the facility for a set number of hours a week. Both routes should provide structured programs that involve various aspects of treatment, such as counseling. Either as a part of an outpatient program or as an ongoing treatment, individuals should seek support groups such as AA.
Don’t linger too much on knowing the exact right location. Just get help. For example, if someone needs detox immediately and is brought to Confidential Recovery, when our program manager does a full assessment, she will refer the individual to the proper care provider.
If at any point you feel overwhelmed, lost or just confused with the options, reach out for help. Start by consulting a family doctor or talking with a provider you trust. They will point you in the right direction, even possibly connecting you directly to a provider in your area. You can also call treatment facilities in your area. For example, our program manager fields calls from spouses and parents every week, giving them tangible steps to move forward. Lastly, there are free hotlines available for support 24/7. DrugAbuse.com outlines each hotline here.
At no point should you feel you have to walk this path alone.
There’s a difference between maintaining patient confidentiality and operating completely behind closed doors. At Confidential Recovery, confidentiality is obviously a cornerstone of our program. We understand that many working professionals will not seek help for fear of losing their job, or “outing” their recovery to their community. The stigma that comes with addiction runs deep.
Despite our dedication to confidentiality, we work to create complete transparency within the program. We invite families and individuals to come in and see our facility, understand the aspects of the program, meet care providers, and more.
Be wary of any company or organization that conceals their treatment programs or won’t let you see the facility. You need to be confident that your loved one is being well cared for. We recommend calling the facility to see both how transparent they are about the program, as well as evaluating how friendly and welcoming they are.
You could find the best treatment facility in the world, but if they don’t have the resources or space for your spouse, the program is irrelevant. The reality is that there is a bed shortage today. It may take a few trials to find a program that you trust with the space for your spouse.
If you encounter a program that aligns with what you are looking for without space, know that they can help refer you to other programs that may have availability.
Integrating Family Programs into Treatment
Addiction recovery isn’t an isolated journey. To increase the success of the program, families need to be involved to some degree. To which degree will vary based on the individual going through the program as well as the family involved. Sometimes it takes time for either the individual or the family to be willing to get involved in the treatment.
So why does it matter for family to be involved? First off, families contribute to the home environment. Families, especially spouses, need to know what type of actions, comments, or environments are triggers for the individual in recovery. The truth of the matter is that we as loved ones often say and do things that we think are helpful but actually hinders the recovery process. Those disconnects need to be addressed. We also need to create an environment that fosters recovery at home for when an individual transitions from an inpatient facility. If someone thrives in a residential treatment, but moves back into the same environment where they were using, it adds barriers to a long-term recovery.
Additionally, we need to create a safe space where family members and the individual can come together to express their feelings and concerns, and to chart a path forward. The process leading to a treatment program often leaves a wake of frustration, fights, and other relational aspects that need to be mended.
Working Through Your Own Journey
You have endured a lot to arrive at this point. Unfortunately, your journey is not complete. When your spouse checks into a program, they will be spending twenty or more hours a week working on self-improvement. They should be changing every day.
When you are married to someone with a substance abuse problem going through treatment, you are going to have to go through treatment too. If only one-person works on themselves at a time, it creates a large disconnect in the marriage.
To successfully make it through this process, you need to grow together. This doesn’t necessarily mean solely couple sessions. In fact, oftentimes it means you as the spouse go to Al-Anon, as well as working with the treatment center on your personal journey. When researching treatment options, ask them about their philosophy and approach for integrating spouses into the treatment program, as well as supporting organizations they recommend you connect with.
The Confidential Recovery Approach
At Confidential Recovery, we are an outpatient care facility that specializes in treatment for professionals seeking a progressive approach that combines medication, therapy, and mindfulness in a whole patient approach.
We believe that this approach, combined with our long-term program structure, creates more sustainable results. To dive in deeper to what makes Confidential Recovery different, you can head to this page. If you’re ready to talk to a real person about what a recovery program can look like for your spouse, call us today. Our entire team is completely dedicated to helping individuals like you find the best treatment option for your spouse.
Call Now: (619) 452-1200 or Text (619) 993-2738